Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
