Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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