8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
