I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
