ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize