In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
