wrigley field is MILF paradise
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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