I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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