While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
