capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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