Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
