he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
