You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
