Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
