i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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