just tell him i said nine months
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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