If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
