i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
