Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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