Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
