so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize