at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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