I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
