So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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