I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
