I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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