I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
