I'm eating all of the evidence.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
