Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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