So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
