4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
