Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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