i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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