I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
