6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
