He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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