I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
