I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize