We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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