I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
