I could have mohawked her pubes.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I love having hate sex.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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