AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Houston, we have a blender
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
