didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I can feel your judgement through the phone
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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