nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
