all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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