Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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