Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
