Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
