Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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