So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
