now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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