the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
