Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
