four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
