Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
