Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
