I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
only you would photoshop your dick
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Randomize
