I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
