I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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