Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
