In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
