how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
