Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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