real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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