he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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