So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
