white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Drake has all the answers
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
