Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
