brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The feeling are messing with the penis
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
