Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
