My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
