It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
