"it" just moved
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize