Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize
