its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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