shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize